Valentine’s Day

I don’t get Valentine’s Day and yes before you ask I am single and have no one to share it with, but even when I do I still don’t get it. Really I don’t, in fact when I’m with someone who wants to make a fuss I immediately begin to rethink the relationship because they have to a lunatic, just a little bit, to age themselves by 3 years with the stress of Valentine’s day. I mean who enjoys Valentine’s day?? The lady?? No because whatever happens she will worry about what will happen and whether or not she’ll like it because she isn’t in control. The gentleman?? No he won’t like because he will worry about how it will go and if he is doing the right thing for the day because he is in control. And that’s if you in a heterosexual relationship I seen fights over valentine’s day plans between my homosexual friends that have ended relationships, well after Valentine’s day because after all that fuss you have to go through with it.

Apparently the average person spends 31 years on a diet or trying to lose weight, so how are chocolates appropriate?? Here darling I know you’re trying really hard to feel really good about yourself but forget that, it’s really not that important and you know if you don’t eat the 2 trays of chocolates you’ll just feel guilty because I went to all the effort of getting you your favourite chocolates. And Flowers, really?? I mean I get that flowers are beautiful and a reflection of your relationship but you know they do have a terrible habit of withering and dying.

Then there is the romantic evening out where couples are in competitions with each other. I have been stuck at a table for 4 with 2 complete strangers, separated by a fan. I spent most the night trying not to interrupt their conversation, this, maybe, kind be because my partners was so dull. Then there is the overpriced food that is always a charcoal mess, with underdone sides, served by a surly waitress or waiter who sadly doesn’t have anything better to do on Valentine’s Day.

I mean you could ignore Valentine’s Day but no matter how you try and rationalise, you always seem a bit bitter and sad, even if you’re in a relationship, you run the risk of upsetting your partner who secretly wants to do something amazing. If you try to be original, you’ll probably over think it and freak out. Valentine’s never lives up to the hype, sure it’s lovely but it’s never amazing.

I mean other than Valentine’s the only days that you have to show affection are anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas. Four days, that’s all , may I ask what are you doing for the other 361 days of the year that are so important you can’t find just a couple more to devote to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with?? Valentine ’s Day is an excuse for lazy people not worry about their relationship for the other 361 days; which is silly as then there is all this pressure on one day, that’s it one day to get it all right to show how much you love this person. I am missing something, is everyone else in the world superhuman and has managed to crack this impossible feet of fitting 361 days of love and wonderment into one day??