“All our dreams can come true” or what Disnay taught me

I’ve always had a soft spot for Disney, one of my earliest memories is me and my brother arguing over Aurora dress colour at the end of Sleeping Beauty. I not a huge fan the Disney Princess thing; I was always more of a Jungle Book, Lion King, Lady and the Tramp and everything Pixar sort of girl. Now I’m older, despite the problems I have with Disney, I find the films undeniably beautiful, I went to watch the Lion King in 3D and found that as a child I had missed how visually stunning it was.

Like I said I have problems with Disney, as a child I always felt they had ruined many of my favourite stories and fairytales by not being faithful to the original material I was familiar with. Nor I could ever really relate to Princess who all seemed desperate to find love and be swept off their feet. Then I got older and found a whole new set of issues (got to love age and cynicism.) There is however a couple of things I learnt from Disney.

  1. If nothing else I have learnt that love is important and that it comes in all shapes

    This was on my 10th Birthday cake I had in America, I have kept this plastic decoration all these years as I can’t bear to let it go.

    andsizes. Lilo and Stitch has a small and broken family but it’s “still good” and Belle only has a father. I watched parents do anything for their children; it helped me understand my own. I watched friends in Disney help each other, I watched lovers heart-break and then rejuvenate with a kiss. Love and relationships are pivotal in Disney, because it is the thing that gives us most joy in life, our family and our friends make us happy but it’s more than that love is also about the sacrifices you make for the people who mean the most. The older you get the less you take love for granted.

  2. From the moment Mufasa died it dawned on me: Life is hard. None of the characters in Disney have it easy, Cinderella, Hercules, Pocahontas, their lives are difficult, they are faced with arduous decisions and challenges while trying to do the right thing and make their lives better. Disney has the lives of their characters change and often it is beyond their control and they are simply trying to do their best and keep their head above water. The older I get the more I understand this feeling and how much harder it can become.
  3. Hope is a very powerful thing, it is the only thing that can defeat pain. Hope is everywhere in Disney:  101 Dalmatians, Fox and the Hound, Aladdin, the characters and the audience never gives up hope for a happy ending. Hope is the thing that characters hold on to when all else is lost, it is part of them that never dies, the last candle in the darkness. The older we get the harder it is to keep the hope while in life I’ve learnt that the candle doesn’t always stay lit; Disney does a pretty good job of showing how significant it is in life. H.O.P.E : Hold On, Pain Ends.
  4. There is such thing as magic, the world pretty awesome place and if you take the time to see it ,magic is alive and well and if not…. your toys come to life when you leave the room. It is also in our dreams and wishes, Snow White wishes in a well, Geppetto on a star and Peter Pan fills Wendy’s dreams, these are thing that these character hold on to and fuel their life. They are a source of amazing strength and that is magic.
  5. The greatest thing I have learnt from Disney is that you are your own hero, you can save yourself. The characters fight and despite all the Princess having Princes they do a pretty good job at fighting for themselves. They fight for what they want, they fight to have their wishes and dreams and to protect their hopes and the people they love. Love is important so fight for it, life is hard so fight for the life you want, hope is important so fight not to lose it, fight to keep the magic in your life. Simple.

The thing about growing up is that things become less black and white and become more about different shades of grey. Disney may not be the shinning white sceptical I remember it being, but that doesn’t tarnish the lessons I’ve leant. Mainly everyone can exist, the good and the bad, but you have to fight to live the life you will be proud of, you will have to believe in yourself even when others don’t and you have to dare to dream and go after that light no matter how dark it gets.

The Disney Princess at their film ages by Taijavigilia

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Like Chalk and cheese that come in the same pod.

The differences between my elder brother, younger sister and I starts with our looks, while we share the same blue, grey eyes our features bear no resemblance. My siblings have striking Mediterranean feel about their looks, dark hair, dark skin, while I have more of an English rose thing going on with pale skin and blonde hair. They’re small, I’m big, my brother looks like my dad, my sister like my mum and I’m apparently a throwback to past generations.

The variations continue with our passions, personalities, ideals and dreams, my siblings and I are as diverse as biology can get. There is however an undeniable resemblance between us, our mannerisms mirrors each other, we are all odd and we think on the same wave length. We can tell what another will say or think or do before it has even occurred to our siblings. This leads to weird conversations, especially when we are at a music festival and spend an hour (not an exaggeration, I timed it) waiting for food. Here are some bits you probably understand because I swear the rest was just gobbledee guck.

“The new Mini Cooper doesn’t even look mini anymore it’s huge” my sister the car expert begins.

“Yeah the designers were determined to destroy the original design and point of being mini,” replies my brother.

“Shouldn’t even be called a Mini anymore, it should be a Maxi,” continues my sister

“I could totally pull off a Maxi,” grins my brother.

I haven’t been paying attention so reply with “You could borrow my Maxi dress if you want,” because crossing dressing is a definite possibly of conversation for us.

 

“You know what is worse than a drunk 15 year old??” I asked after watching some drunk people in the mud.

“A drunk 45 year old,” simultaneously replied my brother and sister.

 

“You know it took me 45 minutes to do a 15 minutes car journey-” my brother starts.

“How, WHY??” my sister interrupts.

“Your girlfriend?” I fill in

“Yeah”

“How on earth do you know his girlfriend is the reason he took 45 minutes to do a journey?” my sister asks disgruntled.

“The only person he would go the wrong way for to avoid an argument, is for the person he is going to have sex with after the 45 minute drive,” I reply as a matter of fact.

“I thought he would have just ignored the sat nav” my sister says pulling a face.

“Definite possibility, since I don’t get to have sex with it,” my brother finishes.

 

“Oh I meant to tell you, James T. Kirk’s dad is Thor.” I say all excited.

“Really?” Inquired my brother.

“Yep and his mum is Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time” I nod.

“No wonder Kirk is awesome.” My brother grins.

“Are you two having a conversation like the one you had when you saw Captain America and you said the Dream Lord was in it and spent the rest of the film speculating why he was in World War 2 with the bad guy rather than watching the film?”  asks my sister.

“Yeah”

My sister sulks “See in the real world I would be considered cooler than you two, in our family I’m the freak for not getting this.”

(Chris Hemsworth play George Kirk in Star Trek and Thor, Jennifer Morrison plays Winona Kirk in Star Trek and Emma Swan,  Toby Jones play the Dream Lord in Doctor who and Arnim Zola in Captain America; me and my brother merge an actors characters all the time make watching things much more interesting.)

 

“Noooooooooo” my brother hisses.

My sister and I turn“What?”

“He has dropped he food on the ground and he is picking it up grass, mud and all he is going to eat it!”

“I totally get that” my sister states.

My Brother completely disgusted ,“You are telling me that you are that desperate to save money that you would pick up a couple of quids worth of food out of the mud rather than waste it?”

“No but she is desperate enough after spending 45 minutes in this queue, very hungry ,to not waste the time she spent waiting.” I say.

“Yep, basically anything to not have to queue again.” My sister smiles.

Greener on the other side

Tall daisiesI bumped into someone today who once told me I was the type of person who would always believe the grass is greener on the other side. I don’t think this person ever really understood me. I remember sighing at them and saying it wasn’t that I thought the grass would greener, just that I was tired of sitting on short well kept grass and that I wanted to lie in the tall wild unkempt grass instead. I like change, I like the new and I am always looking for something more; that doesn’t mean I’m looking for something better, I’m looking for something different. I move on a lot and I believe that life and identity is something of constant transition and change. No matter how much someone may try and stay still, the world marches on and you can either stumble long with it or embrace it and skip to the beat. I have chosen to change schools, hobbies, favourite things, jobs because the world changes, life changes and I change too.

I have never believed that the grass was going to be greener on the other side; I’m just in search of different grass. Grass that might have taller daisies or smaller daisies, grass that has sunshine dandelions, grass that maybe has some lucky clover. I don’t think that the grass will be a better shade of jade or more luxurious, it’s just that maybe I don’t want to play with Buttercups anymore, maybe I want to make daisy chains or search for a four leaf clover.

I think no matter where your patch of grass is who and what you love doesn’t change, your passion and pleasure stay mostly the same and your nature at heart is fairly constant. Those things close to your heart make the grass green. I don’t think how green the grass is has much to do with where your grass is, it about how well you choose maintain the grass you are lying in, even brown and brittle grass can be lush and green when watered and tended to. I think if you want green grass, water the grass you have, if you want something different go in search of it, but you have to look after the grass no matter where you are.

I suppose I could just plant daisies and clover and dandelions and buttercups, but I have a feeling some miserable sod has labelled them as weeds and the packet seed would be hard to come across.

Missing words

I have not spent all my down time in the last couple of days reading missed WordPress post from the last 3 weeks, nope, definitely not :/

I’m currently seeing this guy and why this may not be a very big deal to me it is to everyone around me apparently. When it comes to my relationships I tend to keep things to myself, it is my business and I like to keep my family and friends well out of it. I mean if I have no idea what is going on, why would I let anyone else have an idea of what may or may not going on? This time however he is a friend of my sisters and the best friend of my cousin so they know and now everyone else knows. No chance of playing my cards close to my chest as everyone finally has a chance to be involved in my relationship.

I used to think as I got older I would have more of an idea about romantic relationships. I don’t. I don’t think relationships are ever simple, there is just a whole new range of issues and problems, and I think love, at least Hollywood, novel, fairytale love is an unrealistic goal. I just don’t think it is out there. None the less, I like dating, I like people, I like being appreciated, I like knowing I make someone happy, I like caring about someone, and I like having someone special.

My usual problem with relationships is I like space, lots of space. This really puts people on edge, they begin to think I don’t like them or I’m not interested. It’s not that I’m not interested, if I wasn’t interested why would I spend time with someone in the first place. I just don’t need a text every five minutes or a phone call, funny enough I haven’t done anything in that short period of time to talk about. I’m also not going to change all my plans to see someone, I have other friends and other commitments that I need to attend to, I will not drop everything, I had a life before I was dating and I’ll have one after. I’m like this, I like my world and sometimes I like to be alone in it, sometimes with friends and family, or working but I will always make time and room for someone. If someone doesn’t like this or wants me to change, I don’t think I am the girl for them.

For once my space issues are not the problem. This is something of a breakthrough considering I’m seeing a guy who texts me every morning at 7am before my alarm goes off. This is every day, very early and I don’t mind, sometimes I take a while to text back but I always do. I have either matured or I quite like this guy. He is also really lovely, which sounds really underwhelming but he is. He is delightful and sweet and really seems to like me. My problem is we are running out of things to talk about, really there is very little left for us to discuss. We don’t have a huge amount in common and I’m beginning to think that there is little point pursuing a relationship when we don’t have any conversation.

No matter how much you enjoy someone’s company and affection surely without conversation there is no future? Is it pointless to continue a relationship with no future, or is it okay to stay in it when you like someone and they like you and just letting the relationship runs its course?

Occationally you watch something and it’s just like: yeah, that just works. It just fits in with your life, and where you are in the world. It speaks to you but also amuses you, makes you smile and feel a little bit better even if your weren’t especially down to start with.

So I thought I would share it. Enjoy 🙂

White dresses and a level up in the game of life.

My friend has moved her wedding forward by a year from September 2013 to September 2012. I’m sorry to say I was first in there with the unoriginal question ‘Are you Pregnant?’ I couldn’t help it. I am vastly ecstatic because they got engaged and then the wedding seemed so far away, now it is the highlight at the end of my summer, let alone theirs. The bride is a wonderful friend from university and her fiancée is fab, I spend a large amount of time in their spare room when I’m visiting friends in trade for a bottle of wine. I have spent many happy hours with them and I can’t wait to see them marry, I plan to cry a sea of tears and drink way too much in their honour. They are a couple that is so established in my world that if they separated I’m sure the universe would rip at the seams.

 

White dresses

The dresses

I’m not going to be a bridesmaid; however I spent the weekend wedding dress shopping with the bride to be and her mother. Would you believe it, the first dress, in the first shop was just perfect and nothing else after could measure up. This didn’t stop her trying on lots of dresses, I watched her try on white gown after white gown and started to feel, well, a little odd. I have never really wanted to get married, I was always in the train of thought that if you loved someone and wanted to spend your life with them just do it, why do you need a piece of paper to prove that you do or will. It’s not like in today’s society it means a lot, every marriage seems doomed to fail before it has started. Despite my cynicism and my generation’s apparent determination to devalue marriage, I always feel overwhelmingly happy when someone tells me they are going to tie the knot, I think it’s because in that moment that person seems incandescently happy. In the bridal shop, staring at mountains of white, cream, ivory, satin and lace I started to wonder if I wanted a big white dress? I can’t imagine thinking I could spend the rest of my life with anyone, let alone wanting or even choosing someone to do that with. Just because I can’t imagine it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t like it, it doesn’t mean that it wouldn’t make me content, it just means I have to do some serious revaluation of what makes me happy.

Everyone around me is in long term relationships, engagements and marriage. Me? Well I joined a Facebook group called ‘My friends are getting married, I’m getting drunk’, yes this is probably childish but it feels like I’m playing a game and I just went up a level in difficultly. It feels like I’m getting old and this doesn’t sit well with me, do I have to start checking for glinting gold bands on the left hand every time someone I am remotely attracted to starts talking to me? I am going to start getting sympathy looks every time I say I’m single, watching a small flash of fear in their eye as they panic I’m might burst into tears over my singleton status or even worse they might catch singletonitis? Or heartbreakingly worse am I going to be deserted, left behind by my friends? Is there room in married life for the single girl chasing a Neverland dream? If I fight to keep my friends will they accept me, chasing happiness that’s not like theirs or will we just drift apart on different tides??

Phone Calls

I don’t like phone calls, I don’t know why, I have a great phone manner and fantastic communication skills or so my boss tells me. I would however prefer to do everything by text and email, I think there is something odd about verbal communication that doesn’t have a face or visual. I think that is why I am such a huge fan of Skype, it’s free, I can see the person I’m talking to and I can see how my friends from all around the world are growing and changing.

 There are some aspects I do like about phone calls such as the late night phone; when it’s late and you have overwhelming urge to call someone you really care about, the urge to share something that just won’t wait till the morning. Late at right is when the hardest laughter is shared, the dangerous secrets are told, the darkest fears come to light and the beautiful, everlasting discussions are had. In the darkness there is there is just the two of you in all the world, it doesn’t matter how far apart you are under that black night.

I love it when a number appears on your screen, one that you haven’t seen in an age that makes you smile because that number represents a person that’s just amazing.  I love the phone calls where you talk about nothing and suddenly it’s three hours later. I adore the phone calls where there is news that makes me shout for joy and no one but me has any idea what is going on. The phone calls, it’s amazing how hearing a voice on the end of the phone that’s sleepy, lazy, happy or overly excited communicating something  that is such a joy to hear, it simply makes you glow.

I remember being a teenager and knowing my best friend’s home numbers before everything was done by mobiles. I don’t even dislike the time where I stare at my phone willing it to call because it just reminds me that the world is just fantastically connected and that maybe I should woman up and call first. I get why people are attached to their phones, it’s that reassuring connection to the rest of the world and more importantly to the people they love.

Tumbling Pretties