Like Chalk and cheese that come in the same pod.

The differences between my elder brother, younger sister and I starts with our looks, while we share the same blue, grey eyes our features bear no resemblance. My siblings have striking Mediterranean feel about their looks, dark hair, dark skin, while I have more of an English rose thing going on with pale skin and blonde hair. They’re small, I’m big, my brother looks like my dad, my sister like my mum and I’m apparently a throwback to past generations.

The variations continue with our passions, personalities, ideals and dreams, my siblings and I are as diverse as biology can get. There is however an undeniable resemblance between us, our mannerisms mirrors each other, we are all odd and we think on the same wave length. We can tell what another will say or think or do before it has even occurred to our siblings. This leads to weird conversations, especially when we are at a music festival and spend an hour (not an exaggeration, I timed it) waiting for food. Here are some bits you probably understand because I swear the rest was just gobbledee guck.

“The new Mini Cooper doesn’t even look mini anymore it’s huge” my sister the car expert begins.

“Yeah the designers were determined to destroy the original design and point of being mini,” replies my brother.

“Shouldn’t even be called a Mini anymore, it should be a Maxi,” continues my sister

“I could totally pull off a Maxi,” grins my brother.

I haven’t been paying attention so reply with “You could borrow my Maxi dress if you want,” because crossing dressing is a definite possibly of conversation for us.


“You know what is worse than a drunk 15 year old??” I asked after watching some drunk people in the mud.

“A drunk 45 year old,” simultaneously replied my brother and sister.


“You know it took me 45 minutes to do a 15 minutes car journey-” my brother starts.

“How, WHY??” my sister interrupts.

“Your girlfriend?” I fill in


“How on earth do you know his girlfriend is the reason he took 45 minutes to do a journey?” my sister asks disgruntled.

“The only person he would go the wrong way for to avoid an argument, is for the person he is going to have sex with after the 45 minute drive,” I reply as a matter of fact.

“I thought he would have just ignored the sat nav” my sister says pulling a face.

“Definite possibility, since I don’t get to have sex with it,” my brother finishes.


“Oh I meant to tell you, James T. Kirk’s dad is Thor.” I say all excited.

“Really?” Inquired my brother.

“Yep and his mum is Emma Swan from Once Upon a Time” I nod.

“No wonder Kirk is awesome.” My brother grins.

“Are you two having a conversation like the one you had when you saw Captain America and you said the Dream Lord was in it and spent the rest of the film speculating why he was in World War 2 with the bad guy rather than watching the film?”  asks my sister.


My sister sulks “See in the real world I would be considered cooler than you two, in our family I’m the freak for not getting this.”

(Chris Hemsworth play George Kirk in Star Trek and Thor, Jennifer Morrison plays Winona Kirk in Star Trek and Emma Swan,  Toby Jones play the Dream Lord in Doctor who and Arnim Zola in Captain America; me and my brother merge an actors characters all the time make watching things much more interesting.)


“Noooooooooo” my brother hisses.

My sister and I turn“What?”

“He has dropped he food on the ground and he is picking it up grass, mud and all he is going to eat it!”

“I totally get that” my sister states.

My Brother completely disgusted ,“You are telling me that you are that desperate to save money that you would pick up a couple of quids worth of food out of the mud rather than waste it?”

“No but she is desperate enough after spending 45 minutes in this queue, very hungry ,to not waste the time she spent waiting.” I say.

“Yep, basically anything to not have to queue again.” My sister smiles.

Totally Selfish

I been away a while, sorry, but life, the universe and everything seemed in collusion to make things hectic. Fair warning this post is about me being very very selfish, I am aware of this and sadly like most feelings when you’re aware of them they just become more intense and grotesque.

I never bring my relationships home to meet the parents mainly because I very rarely think these prospective better halves will go anywhere so there would be little point. That or I might have to admit I really like the person and they would have to find out what a loud, interactive and teasing family I have and I could never do that to myself let alone another living thing! I’m related to my family I don’t have a choice but others do! My romantic relationships are one of the few things in my life other than mental health that I’m not very vocal about. It is my business and no one else’s. Both my brother and sister however have partners that have been brought home to meet the parents and the rest of the family. I would call them serious relationships; they have to be if you’re willing to put them through that.

My brother’s partner is a wonderful person I went to uni with and we were part of the same social circle and society there. We are friends in our own right; we have a relationship that is independent of her relationship with my brother. My sister’s partner I just happen to work with and he is a lovely guy but if I didn’t have to work with him I wouldn’t have relationship with him other than being my sister’s boyfriend and I would be quite happy with that. Both partners are fabulous company and it doesn’t seem lots of effort has to be made for them to fit with our clan. They are well come attendants at family meals and parties and get on exceptionally well with everyone. This doesn’t mean my sister should just go and invite her partner to my birthday meal without asking me.

Really she shouldn’t because it was just going to be my parents, me, my cousin (who is basically a sister) and my brother and sister. At no point are my cousin and brother bringing their partners so why has my sister without telling me gone and invited him and rebooked the table? I know this will make me sound like a three year old but IT’S MY BIRTHDAY WHY CAN’T I INVITE WHO I WANT? I’m only having a dinner because I’m not allowed to ignore my birthday completely. If one partner is coming they should all be coming, starting with my brothers girlfriend because I’m actually friends with her, then my cousins boyfriend because he runs in our social circle and then it should be my sister’s boyfriend because I only work with him. Now it looks like I’m being rude by not inviting the other partners and rude at work. I haven’t invited any of the people at work I’m friends with to do anything for my birthday at all.

Now I’m massively irritated because I don’t understand, when does become obligatory to invite partners? Does it matter that it’s my birthday and I want to invite the people I want to invite? Is this completely unreasonable or is it as I get older it’s just something that happens? I mean it’s not like I said no partners allowed I just didn’t invite them, but I’m not even bringing my own! What I really don’t understand is why this bothers me so much.

O well my sister has no idea I actually smiled when she told me and said that would be lovely while my brother pulled a face as I said more the merrier. Bad move it turns out, since he knows I wanted something quiet, he has decided that he will invite my friends out for drinks after, even the ones that don’t get along with my sister’s boyfriend. Instead of making me feel better I just feel like my birthday is going to turn into a lot of posturing and I’m going to go down ill in the next couple of hours so I can give it a miss. Or take a camera. I haven’t decided. I feel this is all so melodramatic of me but I don’t understand, how did trying to ignore my 22nd birthday has turned into a perhaps showdown of friends and family and me acting like I’m 5??